Trick or Treat, Baby

Trick or treat
Smell my feet
Give me something
Good to eat!

It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids all in costumes
And everyone telling you, "Be of good cheer!"
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's the spook-spookiest season of Fall
With those Halloween greetings and prank-planning meetings
When friends come to call
It's the spook-spookiest season of Fall
There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And trick-or-treating in snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Halloweens long, long ago....

Dilapidated & neglected
works for this look

I love Halloween! I look forward to Halloween the way people look forward to Christmas (which I also love.) Maybe you didn't know that about me. Now you do. I decorate the house. I've thrown parties. I always pass out candy.


Laboratory Specimans

I think dressing up is such fun. How awesome is it to temporarily adopt a completely different persona?

When I was a kid, I can remember the store-bought costumes with the scratchy plastic masks. And they were cool. I also remember designing a few of our own....I remember being a dancer (I'd say ballerina, but I didn't have a tutu. I think it was a jazz dance outfit. It had fringe.) I was a hillbilly with a straw hat & overalls with exaggerated freckles painted on my cheeks. I was a baby with pigtails in my Dr. Dentons. I was a construction worker in coveralls & a hardhat that my dad brought home from work. I was a Valley Girl. Once, in high school, I even dressed as my brother.

Silky & a pregnant Claus

As an adult I can recall having been a flapper, a witch, a vampire, a mime, a seniorita, a popcorn & peanuts vendor, 'the life of the party', a scarecrow, an Asian rice paddy farmer, Elvira, Medusa, Isis, Miss Piggy, Mrs. Claus, & a severed head on a silver platter.

My husband enjoys it too. When his work schedule has allowed him to join us in the festivities, he's been Twinkie the Kid, Shazam, a fat stripper, Silky the pimp, a French Maid....He said there's nothing scarier than him in drag.


Peace-lovin'
Hippy Chick

My children are such fun to dress too. My oldest has been a flower, a lion, Dora the Explorer, a bride, a devil, a vampiress, Wonder Woman, Cleopatra, a Viking, & a ghoul. The little one was Boots (from Dora), Cinderella, an angel, a witch, Supergirl, princess on a unicorn, a medieval princess, & a hippy. I made (or put together) most of the costumes myself or with my mother's help. I actually really enjoy it even though I can't sew & there are kinks to work out. The year they were the devil & angel, their horns & halo were battery illuminated. It was way cool.

All hail the Queen

I'm not sure what we're doing this year. I have ideas. I'm such a freak, I keep a running draft of ideas in my computer. I have a way-cool idea that I know I can execute, but I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be & I like to be comfortable. I have another couple too...depends.

My husband isn't so fond of the 'couples costumes' but I have a good idea for one. I have several, but there's only one I think he might be willing to do. There's always that speed bump in the road. The man has not shared his ideas yet.

The Halloween party that we've been attending the last few years is outside with a bonfire, so weather has to be considered. Costumes that can be worn with coats or with layers are the best options. Sometimes it's downright cold in Ohio at the end of October!



Fairytale Princess

The little girl thinks she might want to be a gothic bride, a corpse bride but not The Corpse Bride. It's the first year she's ever expressed a wish to be something scary-ish. 

I hope it isn't too complicated & I hope not too expensive. You see, that is part of the overall challenge. I like to be original. I like to have fun with it. I hope to do a good job. But I also like to try to do it better & cheaper than I could buy it...some gibberish about being more than the sum of its parts. I don't know where this has come from, but as crazy as it makes me, I look forward to it too.

I've come to drink your blood.

Even when I buy a costume, I have to modify it, convert it, alter it in some way. Somehow, it's never good enough the way it comes. At $29.99 & up yet it's always missing that perfect finishing touch.

If I can reuse, recycle, or thrift store it, I'm in Heaven. I have a big Rubbermaid bin in the basement full of costume parts. I recently did clear out the childrens' items that would be too small from here on, but capes are forever. The accessories are one size fits all.

Gorgontastic!

And my big girl...she's expressed an interest in being Medusa this year, & I just so happen to have my nearly 20 year old, 10 pound Medusa wig that my mother crafted in that bin in the basement. (30+ rubber snakes get heavy on your head!) I'll have to fashion a dress or toga of some sort, but that's part of the fun. Taking the old & updating, converting, refiguring....& probably, in this case, rewiring....I do wonder whether the kids in her class will know who she is. None of them knew who Cleopatra was, but maybe they will since Clash of the Titans was remade in the last year. It was a fun costume. I'm sure she will enjoy wearing it. Unless she changes her mind again by then.

2 weeks ago she wanted to be a werewolf.

Baby, I Heart My TV

The new fall season is approaching...& the TV execs are doing it again. It makes me mad.

I only have so much time to dedicate to the television. I will give them my evenings. Almost any night of the week, I am happily engrossed in a program on a network station. It's a great way to unwind. Mindless entertainment. (Well, not too mindless or I am not entertained.)

But every Fall as I, & millions of others across the continent, look forward to a new season of returning favorites & original new shows, the execs find a way to screw us out of our hopes. A little something for everyone is much too much to ask.

I understand the concept of competition...I do. But does all the competition have to be on the same 2 nights? I only have 1 DVR box capable of recording 2 programs. Monday night, for example, has 4 shows on at 8 o'clock that I like. They are not new shows. I already know that I like them. It's not a matter of trying something new.

I like Chuck. There it is. It's that easy. Zachary Levi as Chuck Bartowski is fun, endearing, charming & cute. (Like real people cute, not movie star cute. Relatable cute.) It's an action show with heart. And it's up against Dancing with the Stars!

Love dancing! I love the costumes & the sparkle, the beautiful people, the challenges & the successes....& Maksim Chmerkovsky. Actually, I like a lot of the dancers. They are seemingly nice people. It's a 'reality' show, a competition, yet they are cooperative & supportive. It's sweet & refreshing. Even when the judges are a little cranky & a little tough, they do it with humor. You could be left scratching your head  deciphering what they've said & it's all fun.

Then there is House. Curmudgeonly yet heroic, addict & genius, Dr. Gregory House isn't easy to like, but we do. We really do. Here's a tip: it's never sarcoidosis.

Barney, Ted, Robin, Marshall & Lily round out the Monday night conundrum. How I Met Your Mother is sort of like Friends, but Barney is 'successful' with women & his career & Joey was only successful with women. Barney is my favorite part of the show. Ted is my least favorite. He's the straight guy all the funny is played against.

It's a lose-lose for me. This is only Monday. There's competition all week, yet all the stuff I really want to see is lumped on 3 nights. Share the wealth! Spread it out! Give us something Sunday through Thursday! We can all do well....the networks & the viewers will all succeed if they just understood that a show that has been successful on Tuesdays at 10 for 10 years has no business moving to Wednesdays at 9 & competing with TV's freshest sitcom, Modern Family. Do you hear me, SVU?

I can subscribe to hundreds of channels, I can record, I can play back when it is more convenient, & I can fast-forward through ads... but I still can't find anything on a Saturday. I <3 my TV, but this is crazy.

I think I'm going to have to jump back in time to find an old VHS tape to start recording until something inevitably fails & is removed from the conflict....sigh. Seriously.

Ain't No Maybe About It....

I am a witch with a capital B.

I embrace it. My husband claims that is what he first liked about me. Yes, he said that. He can't take it back.

nananabooboo

He likes my sarcasm & what he calls my wicked sense of humor. That's his nice (& he's not all that nice himself) way of saying that he likes it when I rip on people. Here's the truth: I can be a bitch. I think that's different from always being one. I'm sure there are some who would disagree with this concept & with whether I'm always one or not. Too bad. It's my blog & not theirs.

I think I'm actually a pretty nice person, but that will change if you mess with me or my kids. And if I don't know you &/or you look or have proven to be stupid, all bets are off.

Take something minor for example... Recently, I have noticed that a slew of people I know are suddenly 'liking' a bunch of stuff on facebook. That's ok. I 'like' stuff too. I do take issue with who is saying s/he likes some of the stuff s/he claims to like. I hope you follow me. I'm not going to use names, but if they are reading me, I hope they recognize themselves & 'unlike' some of their 'likes.' (I don't think anyone to whom I refer actually does read me, but if so, you can take it up with me & we'll talk it out.)

Person number 1 -& again, I like this person, but I think she may be confused- recently 'liked' Sarah Palin, Being Conservative, God & Glen Beck. Really? REALLY?! Because this woman is a thrice divorced bartender & it doesn't seem to mesh. I'm not picking on her bad luck or bad taste in men. I'm not mocking her personal pain. I'm not opposed to earning an honest living as a bartender or server (did it myself for many years) or anything like that. I'm not faulting of what I know so little. I'm not even being snobby when I say these things just don't fit together. This is according to Webster's. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conservative

2-a : of or relating to a philosophy of conservatism
b capitalized : of or constituting a political party professing the principles of conservatism: as (1) : of or constituting a party of the United Kingdom advocating support of established institutions (2) : progressive conservative

3-a : tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions : traditional b : marked by moderation or caution c : marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners
 
Conservative as a noun has an ever so slight difference. It's connotation is political.

1-a : an adherent or advocate of political conservatism b capitalized : a member or supporter of a conservative political party

2-a : one who adheres to traditional methods or views
 
That usually implies cuts to so-called entitlement programs (including Social Security & Medicare) & tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens & big businesses...which I completely understand if you are wealthy or own a big business or are even employed by one. You may not ever need your Social Security or Medicare. But a bartender is usually not wealthy nor is the bar or restaurant usually under the umbrella of big business. It just doesn't mesh.
 
Certainly anyone can 'like' God & I can't criticize that...& I don't want to waste my energy on that hypocrite Sarah Palin or the bigot Glen Beck. But you see where I'm going...
 
Person number 2 has similar 'likes' but has 3 children with 3 different mothers & that doesn't speak of conservative or Christian values to me, though I do indeed find him to be a pretty great guy. He's reasonably intelligent, financially successful, funny & friendly. I'm just not sure that either of these honestly nice people understand the conflicting points with who they are versus who they either think they are or who they want to be.
 
Now I did say this blog wouldn't be a soapbox for my politicial beliefs, so moving on...Here's another super example: Someone I am friends with on facebook (& that distinction is necessary because apparently, we would never be friends in real life) recently had a birthday. I, like many others, extended polite birthday wishes on his wall. I happened to see many of these exchanges in my newsfeed because you will see the actions of the friends you have in common. So I noticed that he was replying to a lot of them, but I hadn't received a notification that he'd replied to mine. No big deal. Sometimes these things are delayed quite a bit. I just went back to his wall & scrolled through looking for my post. WHAT?! Exactly. Who'd a thunk it? Why would that ever occur to me? Yes, ladies & gentlemen, he had deleted my birthday greeting from his wall! Seriously. Un-freaking-real. Apparently, I am so grotesque that he could not have people thinking we were actual friends. It would seem that a little, "Happy birthday!" was more than he could tolerate. Should I maybe apologize for offending him so? And I was not the only one. Oh no, several people who'd made the same wish also had their sentiments expunged. Truly.
 
I ask you, to what purpose? And furthermore, is he so freaking clueless (oh, yeah, I'm going there) that he doesn't realize we can see this? It's like picking your nose at a red light. You are not alone. We can all see what you're doing. Or is he not so clueless, just rude? Personally, I'm not any more fond of rude than I am of stupid.
 
There are many cases of this type of behavior I could cite, but that was the best. He's a champ.
 
Of course, not all of these situations arise on facebook. Certainly not! I do have a real life. Shall we take on the topic of cell-phone manners? I don't know where to start because so few people have them. Not the phones, the manners. There are very few exceptions to these, but the most important one is, if you've never done it to me before, I'll not hold it against you, but if you do it all the time (& thou-who-shall-remain-nameless, you do it a lot....but these aren't all you) I'm calling you out.
 
1-Don't call me 2 seconds away from the drive-through & tell me to hold on while you place your order & pay & then make me listen to you chew & talk with your mouth full. Please? I beg you. I love you, but it's rude. Just call me when you're done.
2-  Don't call me just to chat & then take a caller beeping in 20 seconds after we say hi. If you were waiting for that call, you shouldn't have called me at that time. Call me after you get it & you actually do have free time.
3- If you called me, why are you texting or emailing while we're talking? Clearly you have something else to do.
4- If everytime you have ever called me from this one place, your call drops, stop calling me from there. Wait until you've driven past it to call. It's only 5 more minutes. I know the spot & I remember. Why don't you?
5- If we're hanging out together & you take more than 3 phone calls (unless it is somebody joining us) or even one phone call that lasts more than 5 minutes (unless it is an emergency or a change in plans) especially if you're at my house or you invited me out, then you are being rude. I shouldn't have to tell you that. But I have. More than once.
6- And here's one- If you're already 15 minutes late to pick me up, don't call me to tell me you're on your way & are at the light on street Y, (unless you're really at the light on street Y) because I know where you live & how long it takes to get here from there & from the light on street Y to here....& more importantly, because I have been with you 10,000 times when you have told someone else that we were on the way & had just turned the corner on X street while we were still in your living room. I'm on to you. I'm not buying it. I find no comfort in the fudging of the facts so you can be straight with me. I won't end our friendship over 20 minutes...an hour, maybe. No, but I will be mad.
 
My time is as valuable to me as yours is to you. Just sayin'.
 
7-8-9- & 10- Turn your ringer down in a restaurant, silence it at the movies (& for God's sake, keep your brightly lit screen down if you can't refrain from texting) don't ever put me on speaker, & please, modulate your voice. I can hear you. I promise that I will tell you if I can't. Your not hearing me doesn't equate with whether I can hear you. I've already turned down my receiver's volume as low as it goes. I understand it's loud where you are, but it isn't loud where I am. Ok? OK?! Are we OK?

Hahahaha-Ahahahaha! (That's me cackling.)

So now that I've got that off my chest....we can laugh about it together. I just think we all have our things. And now...I have a broom to fly!
 
Good Lord, you didn't think I'd sweep with it did you? Have you met me? Been here?

Baby, I'm Like the Red-Headed Stepchild!

my siblings & me

I have always known I’m some kind of mutant freak, but not a cool mutant like Heroes or X-Men. If my siblings & I didn’t bear some resemblance to each other, I could believe I was switched at birth. You see, I don’t fit in.

I am the only one who went to preschool. Of course, in those days, it was called Nursery school, & according to my mother, I begged to go. At this time, I was still the youngest, & apparently, had a hard time watching my older siblings & presumably my uncles (who lived very near us) trot off to school each morning leaving me home alone with no other kids, bored. Going to preschool was fun for me. I have a few fond memories & no bad ones.

I am the only one who wore glasses. I got them in 2nd grade. It seems I failed that little test at school. I can’t remember if I was supposed to be nearsighted or farsighted. My mom took me to 2 different optometrists & they said the opposite of each other. They did both agree that I had mild astigmatism too, but I outgrew my need. By 7th or 8th grade, I only had to wear them for reading & for viewing filmstrips at school. I am 41 now & I don’t have any need for corrective lenses of any type at a time when almost everyone has to start even if they never needed them before & no, I didn’t have lasik, nananabooboo…
 
I am the only one who got a widow’s peak. I have the ridiculous Dracula hairline that contributed to years & years of ridicule. I’ve learned to embrace it though. I don’t even wear bangs to camouflage it anymore.

I am the only one who had braces. I had the fangs to go with my vampire hairline. It was simply dreadful. I am ever so grateful for the braces. 3 years when at least ½ the kids had them was absolutely worth it for your smile, just for the vanity aspect. You need your smile.

I am the only one who can’t do basic Algebra. My siblings were all in Calculus & Trig & I took Algebra 1 twice in high school & twice in college. In my defense, I never actually failed Algebra. I just didn’t get a high enough grade to look good on my transcripts. I have an advanced Math phobia. It seems I have the necessary skills to solve mathematical problems when applied to subjects that make sense to me, like any formulas for my science courses or statistics for my psychology classes...I just didn't process math in abstract terms.

But as for Algebra, & really, anything beyond basic arithmetic, who needs it? Just like I told my math teachers, I don’t use it. (I believe it was Mark Twain who said, “Never learn to do anything for yourself because then you’ll always be able to get someone to do it for you.” I probably paraphrased it.) You know it’s true. That’s why the guy at the paint store is there- to do the math for you & tell you how many gallons you’ll need for an x-y-or z-sized room. It’s his job, & I say, let him do it.
Though really, the way I least fit in with my very own family is when it comes to sports.
Don’t like ‘em. Nope. Never have. Probably never will. I think I’ve made it clear how I feel about sweat in previous posts. Add to that the fact that I am woefully lacking in talent, skill, interest, & hand-eye coordination, as well as having immeasurable fear of objects hurtling toward my person, & there is your recipe for disaster.

I was a cheerleader & I was damn cute. I have, at times, been known to not-mind basketball, volleyball & swimming both as a participant & as a spectator. I do enjoy watching figure skating. I’ve seen hockey & baseball. I attempted tennis & downhill skiing. I exposed my children to these athletics. They have taken lessons in gymnastics, swimming, diving, skiing, tennis, golf, skating & the older one tried basketball…. They aren’t bad, & at swimming & skiing, they are both actually quite good. None of us has ever been interested in soccer. (I mean no offense to anyone who is.)

Have you spotted what’s missing? The humongous pink elephant? Yep, that’s right.
 
I don’t know why people say things like, “American as baseball & apple pie.” I beg to differ. Football is the American sport. And I don’t mean soccer.

I have actually heard the 4 seasons referred to as Winter, Spring, Summer & Football. I love the Fall!! (Please don't take that away from me.) I love all the scents & colors that go with the weather, but I really hate football. I hate listening to people yell at their TVs. I hate when they get mad that the coach didn’t hear them or the guy fumbled or whatever. It's just obnoxious to me. I'm not a fan of all the chest-thumping & manly-man antics that go with the beer commercial lifestyle of spectator football. Short of playing, I've seen football in all it's settings & it is not for me. (Actually, I was forced to play flag football in gym class. Ugh.)

There’s a long standing joke about the sports widows, but I was a football orphan. I still have nightmares. In the 70’s it was all about the Cowboys, Steelers & Vikings & the 80’s added the Browns, Bears & 49ers. Thank God TVs got cheaper & more houses had more than 1 & everyone had cable so there was something else to do on a Sunday afternoon when my family forgot that I existed.
I hate that the games are all televised & that they are allowed to go on indefinitely, disrupting the primetime schedules. I swear football killed Arrested Development & it sure didn’t help Malcolm in the Middle. It would be awfully nice (& I hear Uverse does this but I don’t know as we can’t get Uverse here) if I could program a show on the DVR & it would start & end with the show & not with it’s scheduled time that may or may not be accurate during football season. I mean really, if I have the DVR set to record Desperate Housewives, I don’t want 43 minutes of the game & I really, really don’t want only the first 17 minutes of the show…& I doubt there is a very high percentage of the audiences that overlap. Yes, I know some chicks who dig football & I know some guys that like soaps, BUT...
Here’s a question, while it is commonly known that not all women like football & there are even a few men, why is the only competition on TV against football a Lifetime movie? I’m not crazy about those. There’s a female stereotype I break. Why haven’t any TV execs tried putting on something good & tested whether there’s real competition from viewers who don’t watch football? Time Warner claims I have 400+ channels, but if I exclude the pay-per-view (which aren’t really channels) & ESPN & take out the duplicates for basic cable or basic cable in HD, really I only have about 30, & you’d think even that would be enough to find something….but it’s usually not.  Sometimes, I’m just too tired or antsy to read.

As for me, I married a man who doesn’t follow football & I couldn’t be happier about that fact. If he was anything like my brothers during football season, we’d never have made it to the altar. I love my siblings, but not their obsession with the NFL. I hate that Thanksgiving is interrupted by football. I know, there are many of you out there that think I’m absolutely blasphemous. At least now I can hang out with their wives.
 

And my kids get annoyed when the schools declare it to be a Browns day, because they don’t care about the Browns. The Browns are a joke.They don’t own or want to own any Browns paraphernalia, or Indians, or Cavaliers. We don’t even live in Cleveland. When my daughter’s class went to the Football Hall of Fame for a field trip last spring, she said she’d rather have had regular classes because it was so boring. I didn’t teach her this, it just is. So I’m a mutant, & now I’m raising oddballs with my misfit husband. Maybe Rudolph & Santa have some Charlies in the box waiting for us this Christmas.

Maybe Common Sense is Too Much to Ask?

When I was encouraged to start this blog, I hesitated & thought long & hard about it, not really sure I could be funny enough to be entertaining, not really sure if I was knowledgeable enough to have anything meaningful to share.... I knew I didn't want to use it as a soapbox for my political beliefs or as a platform to denounce my in-laws, with whom I have a challenging & adversarial relationship. I knew my husband would be uncomfortable if I was too personal about our family life in any form. A tidbit here or there he's accepting graciously thus far, but I have been cautious of the line...

So here's something that came up yesterday. In case you're unaware, I'm not fond of this house in which we live. I made some inquiries & have been able to learn that my husband & I have a very good combined credit score & qualify for enough loan to buy a house of similar scale if only we can come up with a down payment. So dreamy me decides to look at houses in our town with a keen eye.There are some nice ones in our range. But I have to rule some out because they are too close to our in-laws. Like this one.

Then I looked at the newspaper & out fell a flyer for a new home development that is actually outside our city limits, but is within our school system. Could be perfect & the developer claims the houses start 50 grand below what we expected we'd need to stay here in this school district. So I decide to look it up online.

Here's weird for you- can't do it. I went right to the builder's website & there it is barely mentioned, no link to it, no information on it, no map of it, no house plans to view... But I know the area as described in the flyer so I do a generic house plan search & I put in a few criteria. Just for fun, mind you.

I enter 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, 2 car attached garage, basement, fireplace & 2nd floor laundry.... Barely a blink of an eye above standard stuff around here. The 2nd floor laundry is a luxury I crave. So I start perusing these house plans from various builders & I was thinking, some were truly cool & some were just...not.

My dream house could be a ranch. I don't really like stairs, but I really hate carrying laundry from the basement to the 2nd floor to put the clothing away. And as awful as that is, even more I loathe going down the steps with no risers to a dank, damp, dark, musty, gray cinder block & cement basement to do the laundry...the one household chore that I have never minded 'til we moved into this house with this basement which I have just described.

master suite, ground floor

So I ask you, how big a brain do you need to have to figure out that a master suite on the 1st floor isn't such a great feature when the laundry room is on the 2nd floor? Assuming that most single family homes (hence the name) are designed for families, how much common sense does it take to figure out that the bedrooms, aside from the master, should be almost identical in size so the children don't argue or feel cheated about who's room is bigger or who has more closet space or the window seat?

laundry facilities, 2nd floor

I said to my dear husband, most architects must be men because they are clueless about some pretty common family workings. Why would anyone build a house in the Midwest with a big entry way that doesn't include a coat closet? There needs to be a convenient location for shoes, boots, hats, coats, scarves, gloves & mittens when there's 5-6 months of winter with 4 months minimum that involve snow? It's a no-brainer or so I thought.

Speaking of closets....who's brilliant idea is it to put a master walk-in closet off the master bath? That might work in an arid climate like Arizona or Nevada, but it's not so great here in the muggy Midwest, in my opinion. I've yet to see a bathroom exhaust fan that actually extricates all the steam from a shower in 5 minutes or less. No matter where we've lived, we have never run said exhaust fan during our shower, only afterward, because 1 of 2 things usually happens: It might run well enough to make the bathroom seem cold when wet & naked or it causes a draft which has been known to lead to the intolerable situation of the shower curtain blowing into the shower & sticking to me which, regardless of how clean or new it is, gives me the creeps.

And still more on closets....if the aesthetics of the home require you to put a window in a closet, maybe the design isn't so great. I absolutely don't want a window in my closet. Windows cost money. Why pay for something that can't be used? They are supposed to let in light & fresh air. Closet doors should be shut firmly. There is no purpose. It's also impractical in that sunlight might (however unlikely it is here in Ohio) shine around the edges of blinds or shades & cause fading of one's clothing, particularly the things that stay put most of the time, like the dress worn to the coworker's wedding 4 years ago & not since. Just because there hasn't been use for it doesn't mean there won't be use for it. And besides, a great LBD is always good to have around, unless of course sunlight streaming into your closet gives it a gray stripe down one side. That just won't do.

Hi, I'm your garage & PROUD of it!
I also have a window up there, that's your master closet.

There was one more feature of many of these homes with which I took exception. The garage. Thank goodness I didn't put in for a 3 car garage! Why do these architects or designers make the garage such a prominent feature? I personally don't like a house where the garage smacks you in the face & you can't find the front door. I know garages are large & that generally, they have to be, but some plans managed to downplay the garage with a side entry & others put a 2nd floor over it with a peaked roof so that it dwarfed the rest of the house, then slapped it with 1 enormous white door so that it was all you could see. The front door, on the other hand, was hidden in the shadows of a small porch where the rest of the house appeared to be equivalent in size but more crowded to the garage. I just don't understand. Why don't they just set it back a little bit? I'm sure that would help.

So maybe we aren't quite ready yet, but we're getting there. And maybe the perfect design doesn't exist. While I can compromise on some things, one thing I won't compromise on is this- if I have to have a basement laundry, I will never again go without a chute. Even this house with all its wasted space has that feature. 

I'm your garage but am trying to hide it,
along with your front door.