Ain't No Maybe About It....

I am a witch with a capital B.

I embrace it. My husband claims that is what he first liked about me. Yes, he said that. He can't take it back.

nananabooboo

He likes my sarcasm & what he calls my wicked sense of humor. That's his nice (& he's not all that nice himself) way of saying that he likes it when I rip on people. Here's the truth: I can be a bitch. I think that's different from always being one. I'm sure there are some who would disagree with this concept & with whether I'm always one or not. Too bad. It's my blog & not theirs.

I think I'm actually a pretty nice person, but that will change if you mess with me or my kids. And if I don't know you &/or you look or have proven to be stupid, all bets are off.

Take something minor for example... Recently, I have noticed that a slew of people I know are suddenly 'liking' a bunch of stuff on facebook. That's ok. I 'like' stuff too. I do take issue with who is saying s/he likes some of the stuff s/he claims to like. I hope you follow me. I'm not going to use names, but if they are reading me, I hope they recognize themselves & 'unlike' some of their 'likes.' (I don't think anyone to whom I refer actually does read me, but if so, you can take it up with me & we'll talk it out.)

Person number 1 -& again, I like this person, but I think she may be confused- recently 'liked' Sarah Palin, Being Conservative, God & Glen Beck. Really? REALLY?! Because this woman is a thrice divorced bartender & it doesn't seem to mesh. I'm not picking on her bad luck or bad taste in men. I'm not mocking her personal pain. I'm not opposed to earning an honest living as a bartender or server (did it myself for many years) or anything like that. I'm not faulting of what I know so little. I'm not even being snobby when I say these things just don't fit together. This is according to Webster's. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conservative

2-a : of or relating to a philosophy of conservatism
b capitalized : of or constituting a political party professing the principles of conservatism: as (1) : of or constituting a party of the United Kingdom advocating support of established institutions (2) : progressive conservative

3-a : tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions : traditional b : marked by moderation or caution c : marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners
 
Conservative as a noun has an ever so slight difference. It's connotation is political.

1-a : an adherent or advocate of political conservatism b capitalized : a member or supporter of a conservative political party

2-a : one who adheres to traditional methods or views
 
That usually implies cuts to so-called entitlement programs (including Social Security & Medicare) & tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens & big businesses...which I completely understand if you are wealthy or own a big business or are even employed by one. You may not ever need your Social Security or Medicare. But a bartender is usually not wealthy nor is the bar or restaurant usually under the umbrella of big business. It just doesn't mesh.
 
Certainly anyone can 'like' God & I can't criticize that...& I don't want to waste my energy on that hypocrite Sarah Palin or the bigot Glen Beck. But you see where I'm going...
 
Person number 2 has similar 'likes' but has 3 children with 3 different mothers & that doesn't speak of conservative or Christian values to me, though I do indeed find him to be a pretty great guy. He's reasonably intelligent, financially successful, funny & friendly. I'm just not sure that either of these honestly nice people understand the conflicting points with who they are versus who they either think they are or who they want to be.
 
Now I did say this blog wouldn't be a soapbox for my politicial beliefs, so moving on...Here's another super example: Someone I am friends with on facebook (& that distinction is necessary because apparently, we would never be friends in real life) recently had a birthday. I, like many others, extended polite birthday wishes on his wall. I happened to see many of these exchanges in my newsfeed because you will see the actions of the friends you have in common. So I noticed that he was replying to a lot of them, but I hadn't received a notification that he'd replied to mine. No big deal. Sometimes these things are delayed quite a bit. I just went back to his wall & scrolled through looking for my post. WHAT?! Exactly. Who'd a thunk it? Why would that ever occur to me? Yes, ladies & gentlemen, he had deleted my birthday greeting from his wall! Seriously. Un-freaking-real. Apparently, I am so grotesque that he could not have people thinking we were actual friends. It would seem that a little, "Happy birthday!" was more than he could tolerate. Should I maybe apologize for offending him so? And I was not the only one. Oh no, several people who'd made the same wish also had their sentiments expunged. Truly.
 
I ask you, to what purpose? And furthermore, is he so freaking clueless (oh, yeah, I'm going there) that he doesn't realize we can see this? It's like picking your nose at a red light. You are not alone. We can all see what you're doing. Or is he not so clueless, just rude? Personally, I'm not any more fond of rude than I am of stupid.
 
There are many cases of this type of behavior I could cite, but that was the best. He's a champ.
 
Of course, not all of these situations arise on facebook. Certainly not! I do have a real life. Shall we take on the topic of cell-phone manners? I don't know where to start because so few people have them. Not the phones, the manners. There are very few exceptions to these, but the most important one is, if you've never done it to me before, I'll not hold it against you, but if you do it all the time (& thou-who-shall-remain-nameless, you do it a lot....but these aren't all you) I'm calling you out.
 
1-Don't call me 2 seconds away from the drive-through & tell me to hold on while you place your order & pay & then make me listen to you chew & talk with your mouth full. Please? I beg you. I love you, but it's rude. Just call me when you're done.
2-  Don't call me just to chat & then take a caller beeping in 20 seconds after we say hi. If you were waiting for that call, you shouldn't have called me at that time. Call me after you get it & you actually do have free time.
3- If you called me, why are you texting or emailing while we're talking? Clearly you have something else to do.
4- If everytime you have ever called me from this one place, your call drops, stop calling me from there. Wait until you've driven past it to call. It's only 5 more minutes. I know the spot & I remember. Why don't you?
5- If we're hanging out together & you take more than 3 phone calls (unless it is somebody joining us) or even one phone call that lasts more than 5 minutes (unless it is an emergency or a change in plans) especially if you're at my house or you invited me out, then you are being rude. I shouldn't have to tell you that. But I have. More than once.
6- And here's one- If you're already 15 minutes late to pick me up, don't call me to tell me you're on your way & are at the light on street Y, (unless you're really at the light on street Y) because I know where you live & how long it takes to get here from there & from the light on street Y to here....& more importantly, because I have been with you 10,000 times when you have told someone else that we were on the way & had just turned the corner on X street while we were still in your living room. I'm on to you. I'm not buying it. I find no comfort in the fudging of the facts so you can be straight with me. I won't end our friendship over 20 minutes...an hour, maybe. No, but I will be mad.
 
My time is as valuable to me as yours is to you. Just sayin'.
 
7-8-9- & 10- Turn your ringer down in a restaurant, silence it at the movies (& for God's sake, keep your brightly lit screen down if you can't refrain from texting) don't ever put me on speaker, & please, modulate your voice. I can hear you. I promise that I will tell you if I can't. Your not hearing me doesn't equate with whether I can hear you. I've already turned down my receiver's volume as low as it goes. I understand it's loud where you are, but it isn't loud where I am. Ok? OK?! Are we OK?

Hahahaha-Ahahahaha! (That's me cackling.)

So now that I've got that off my chest....we can laugh about it together. I just think we all have our things. And now...I have a broom to fly!
 
Good Lord, you didn't think I'd sweep with it did you? Have you met me? Been here?