Baby, I Got This

It's a dreary Saturday afternoon & I'm bored. I've been cruising the internet, doing random searches, just looking to occupy my time while supervising the girls so they don't get into any fights as they attempt to clean their rooms. Then my hip started to ache.

Yes, my body is breaking down again. I've been dealing with a bit of a hip issue for a couple of months. My left hip. I don't even know how to describe the pain. First it feels like I was stabbed & rolled into gravel simultaneously & then it paralyzes me with fear that any movement at all will cause more pain. Then my left thigh quakes & quivers as my muscle stays flexed against whatever happened. Straightening back out is a lesser Hell, but each time it happens, it doesn't occur to me until I realize that I cannot remain suspended in time.

I can move my legs back & forth without incident, but a little rotation can be excruciating. God forbid I drop something & have to retrieve it off the floor myself. Squatting is completely out of the question.

So I asked my doctor about this at my last appointment. After I nearly burst into tears 3 separate times during his manipulations, he thinks I have tendonitus. I didn't know that could cause crunchy noises. Hopefully the anti-inflammatory & targeted exercises do the trick.

It's gotten out of hand because I even had trouble dressing myself 1 day last week. I apparently had too much rotation in my hip as I attempted to step into my shorts, then I dropped my grasp on the waistband as I clutched at the crunching. Yes, I crunch. All kinds of things cause my body parts to snap, crackle, pop, crunch & grind. This causes waves of nausea to overcome my loving husband who claims bodies aren't supposed to make those noises, & who in this instant became my savior & picked up my fallen drawers & helped me pull them up.

Then I realized, it's mid-May even if it doesn't feel like it & shorts will become common attire again for more than pajamas. I'm going to need to prepare....

My bathroom contains a sorry excuse for a shower stall, not a full tub. I haven't actually measured it, but I'm pretty sure it's about 2 ft x 2 ft square. This is not a lot of room. There is nowhere to step out of the spray. We attached a handheld shower head so we can at least aim the spray at the wall while we try to lather up. I regularly bump my elbows while washing my hair & have hit my head when bending over...to do things like shave my legs. There's not even a place to prop my foot up to make the leg more accessible. It's just 1 of the reasons I put it off as long as I can.

So I attempt to maneuver in this claustrophobic closet without bumping my head on the wall & without creating the horrible crunch in my hip....& I remembered. The last time shaving my legs was so awful was when I was pregnant.

I didn't have much morning sickness (don't hate me- I had plenty of other issues) but I did tend to get queasy when I bent over, as when shaving my legs. At least we had a full bathtub in that home. I asked my husband if he would do it for me. I'd heard of this. It's a real thing. Friends & magazines talked about husbands helping them with these things. Even painting their toenails for them. Not mine. When I asked, he made a face like I'd sprouted 2 heads.

"C'mon," I pleaded. "It's got to be close to 6 weeks since I've done it. I can't bend."

If you're thinking that his objection might be because I was like Sasquatch by then, you'd be wrong. "Pleeeeeze," I begged.

"Nobody but you can see those 6 hairs you have!"

He didn't do it for me. If not when I was pregnant with his children, I'm pretty sure he won't do it just because I have a bum hip. So I managed. With extreme concentration & a flexibility people would be surprised to know I possess, I was able to get all 6 of those hairs off my legs. It's the little things.