Then there's faith. It's all part of God's plan, people will tell you. And because it's God, you're supposed to be ok with it, even if His plan sucks completely. I can't help but wonder if He thought about how these plans intertwined & overlapped. And when one will end so we can start a new plan, a better plan.
It's not that I think everything is horrible. I don't. I just don't think everything is as great as it could be. People like to say things like, "Life isn't fair." Well, that's crap. It's true, but it's still crap. 'Life isn't fair' isn't an excuse to go out & with an 'every man for himself' attitude & take what you can get. That stinks. Life ought to be fair. We should be doing what we can to even things out. And I'm not talking politics.
If we lived our lives by The Golden Rule, things would be better, all around, for everybody. If we all just took a moment to think, would I like that? Would that help me? Would that hurt me? Sure it's simplistic. Life is easy when we don't let selfishness & greed & anger get in the way.
No one is infallible- I get angry. I get really angry sometimes, & sometimes it's about stupid stuff. The little stupid stuff that's so easy to avoid are probably the things that irk me the most. Just pick up after yourselves. If you put away what you get out, there's nothing to freak out about. I'm not complaining about doing the dusting or the vacuuming or even the dishes (when they're in the kitchen) or the laundry (when it's been tossed down the chute) but I do & will continue to get steamed by dishes & laundry all over the house, shoes & books in my path, things that prevent me from doing the chores, like dusting & vacuuming, that no one person creates. Eventually I get over it.
But I do think putting yourself in the other's shoes would alleviate these conflicts. How would you feel? If I tell you that your stuff all over the place is like noise in my brain, the more there is the louder it is...could you understand that? That the visual clutter is like a band where each member is playing a different song, full blast? Would it make you feel like you were cared for, loved, respected & appreciated if that was continually ignored? I don't expect perfection, but an attempt would be great. Just a little effort would go a long way.
Today started badly for me, but I refuse to let it take me down. In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, I have decided to take the things that those with whom I live haven't put away. We will see how much those items are appreciated. It's done & over. I'm not going to dwell on it.
Instead I've decided to count my blessings, to think of the things I love about each one of them, the bonds that keep me here with them willingly through the struggles. I've decided to focus on the good in them. Because, regardless of my dissatisfaction at times, I know it is there.
My husband- He's smart. He works hard to provide for us. He has a strong sense of family. He is funny, wickedly funny at times. He does the grocery shopping. He's a great daddy. He's a good cook. He lets me have the remote. He does pitch in when he sees the stress I feel. He throws out odd, pop-culture references that he should be too young to have heard 1st hand. He reminds me to play. He's good-looking. He can still take my breath away. And the rest is a bit... personal. ; )
My first daughter- She's smart. She's goofy. She's genuinely concerned for others' feelings. (Not mine of course, other others!) She's generous. She's a free-spirit. She possesses athletic & musical talent. She's adventurous. She's outgoing. She projects self-confidence. She stands behind her convictions. She's energetic. She's beautiful.
My second daughter- She's smart. She's silly. She's a sunny personality. She's my snugglebunny. She's kind. She's affectionate. She's sensitive. She's creative & artistic. She is well-behaved, but ornery too. She is a bit of a fashionista. She's feminine, very girly. She's beautiful.
Obviously these lists aren't complete. Some qualities can't be put into words, or perhaps I just lack the talent to do so. But these are the things I hold in my heart. Not the talking-back. Not the overflowing backpacks in the entryway. Not the glass of apple cider that no one will claim. It's the spontaneous hugs & kisses, the fits of giggles & pride when they help another that I carry with me every day. It's good to take some time to really refect on the things & people that matter. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I urge you to count your blessings & be grateful for what you have.
I don't know. If you believe in God, maybe this is His plan & the rest is just the players going off-script. If you believe in Karma, maybe you do get what you give, because other than the mess, I've got no complaints. (About the people! I do have a few about some of their actions!! I'm me afterall.) I think I've been a decent person & I think I've got a wonderful family & fantastic friends to show for it. I'm a very lucky woman. Afterall, they love me.
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