Gesundheit, Baby!

The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so-you-can-get-on-with-your-day-medicine let me down. It didn't take care of my sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching or stuffy head...& I didn't have a fever. I got on with my day, but it was not easy. I'm on day 5 of this butt-kicking cold & I don't really feel any better. Blahhhhh.....

For the past 2 nights, I lay in my bed feeling all the guck & muck I can't blow out draining from one side of my face to the other. When it feels sufficiently full, I blow. Maybe I'll remain empty for a minute or 2. Then I lay on the other side. I wait for it to drain. The bubble rises. There is a perfect moment just before transfer, if I'm quick enough, I can blow, & I will be clear for maybe 5 minutes. It feels like I'm in a relay race against my own nose. But I can't do this all night...or can I?

I find myself drifting to sleep only to be awakened by the complete depletion of my oxygen supply. I wake, gasping for air. My throat is raw. I'm not normally a mouth-breather. I try to swallow. Who knew I'd welcome the lubrication of post-nasal drip? It's enough moisture to allow me to swallow so I can then reach for the tissue & try to blow, which leads to the coughing fit as I try to expel all that ick that's been running down the back of my throat. It's miserable, miserable, miserable I tell you. Even my dog is annoyed with the commotion.

Yesterday I had my regular 3-month check up with my doctor. I found myself actually hoping that this bug I have would be worse than it is so there would be medicine to help me. Cure it with antibiotics!! No such luck, or oh, that's lucky. Whatever. What the liquigels did do was elevate my blood pressure. Or is that the lack of sleep? My husband, coincidentally, also had his annual physical, & his doctor told him that the cold pills were doing no favors to his pulse (& he doesn't have any history of elevated bp.)

So I'm thinking this SSCASHF medicine is for the birds. I look in my medicine cabinet to see what else is there. Nasal decongestant. Allergy & sinus. Cough suppressant. Cough Expectorant. Where is the cold & flu stuff? I'm going to freak. Surely there is something here. Ahhh, all the way in the back, tiny red tablets. These are the ones that I never take. They never work. You know why? These are the ones they say are safe to take when pregnant. (It's my theory that they're safe because there is nothing in them.  I call placebo!) I honestly don't know why I have them, but I'm desperate so I take one. I'll try anything.

I have a moment of nasal clarity. Seriously. It's like that 30 seconds post-sneeze. I'm like the lady on the commercial out in the field, breathing through my nose! What?! How did this stuff work? It never did before. Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home. I see golden rays of sunshine & hear birds singing....& breathe. I feel good. Well, good might be too strong a word. I'm not ready to resume housework or anything. My glowing red nose that is chapped, peeling & breaking out all at the same time will be so happy to catch a break.

Here's a real gross-out moment for you. Stop now if you are squeamish. No kidding.

My darling little minx who probably contaminated us was eating her Valentine's chocolates the other day & had a coughing fit. She covered her mouth with her hands (Yes, we know one should cough into one's own elbow, however....) she coughed hard into her hand. My husband asked her if she's ok. "Yes," she answered, "But look what I just coughed up." EEEeeewwwWWW!!! He said, "What is that? Is that caramel?"

Through my own horror & fit of laughter, intermingled with hacking coughs, I tried to scream, "Chocolate covered lung-cookies!" She was poking at it, trying to figure out what it was in her hand. My husband's eyes clearly could not make out what he was seeing. I managed to tell her to go wash her hands, WITH SOAP! He's still asking if it's caramel. "No, honey, it's a choco-stained loogey." He physically pales. There's panic in his voice. He tells her to go, go, go, wash, wash, wash.