She opened the refrigerator to look for her breakfast. I brewed my first cup of coffee. As I was putting in my sweetener, she bumps me out of her way to get into the silverware drawer, spilling my coffee. As I reached into the fridge myself for the half & half, she all but shuts me in the door as she rifles through the pantry. I said nothing either time. I know how she is & how far it will get me. Then she snapped at me. I looked at her directly & asked, "What's the problem?"
"I'm mad at you!" she spat. I looked at her blankly. "You woke me up!"
"You have school. You have to get up," I maintained my cool. You see, while I don't love morning, I find that I'm fine with it regardless how tired I may be, unless I'm pushed too far. She was rapidly approaching 'too far.'
"School is stupid," she pouted.
Still I remained calm. "I know you think so."
"I hate you!" Red Alert!!! My limit had been reached.
"I kinda hate you back right now." She stopped dead in her tracks but I let it hang there for a minute. "It doesn't feel very good, does it?"
She shook her head indicating a 'no.'
"All I expect from you is to be treated like a human being," I stated simply.
Her reply? "But you're NOT a human being! You're my MOM!"
Well, I guess that sums it up. Moms are not people. I long suspected this truth.
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| Since my mother doesn't like to have her photo taken, here is one she took- her favorite flower from her garden. |
Mom also played chauffer to me, my friends, my 3 siblings & their friends. She went to basketball, softball, baseball, football & every other game in which one of us was involved. She was a den mother for my brother's cub scout troop. She coached my sister & me in cheerleading. I remember one day specifically when we went to the park & she did cartwheels & the splits! Nobody else's mother could do that. She was room mother for my classroom numerous times. She got involved with the school & church fundraisers & events. She made fabulous, opulent birthday cakes though she didn't even eat cake. She would brush my hair & set it in pink sponge rollers. She let me watch her tweeze her brows & apply make-up in her very Hollywood style (or so it seemed in 1975) make-up mirror with the different light settings. And when she & my dad went out, I'm sure she was the most beautiful, glamorous woman in the place.
"If the whole world were put into one scale, & my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam." ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)
She tried to teach us to sew, tried to teach us the art of flower-arranging, but I don't think any of us had the patience for it. She did teach us to cook. She did teach us to put color & pattern together for our wardrobes & our rooms & our eventual homes. She taught me how to notice detail, to plan events or vacations. She instilled in me a desire to travel. She taught us many things, most of which didn't come to us in a traditional lesson format.
We used to camp, which I'm not big on, but when we went on hikes she could point out the trees & name them & the flowers & name them & the mushrooms that were safe to eat (even though they still gross me out.) She knew all kinds of things I never dreamed I'd know.
My mother spent her spare time engaged in activities that she enjoyed- she was in a garden club & on bowling leagues. She read, did puzzles (mostly crosswords & word searches as I recall) luncheons with her friends, long soaks in the tub for some much-needed 'me time'...all the things we modern moms are encouraged to do these days.
She told us stories from 'the olden days' when she was a child in the 50s & 60s about how she grew up, what advantages we had so that we learned to appreciate our relative affluence though she rarely spoiled us. My mother knew how to crack the whip!
"Some mothers are kissing mothers & some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, & most mothers kiss & scold together." ~Pearl S. Buck
She was not one to allow disrespect. She did not threaten us with, "Wait 'til your father gets home." No, that lady handled it. Handled us, 4 rowdy kids. She might yell, but as I once saw on a Tshirt, she could say, "I yell because I care." And sometimes, when I say those things that I said I'd never say, like, "Because I said so," I laugh to myself because I find it a stupid yet completely acceptable response.
My mom was cool. I knew she was cooler than most moms. When we got home from school, she was at the kitchen table & willing to listen to us expound on our day until we'd let it all out. She often says we told her much more than she wanted to hear.
Even my friends loved my mom. When I was in high school, they all talked to my mom about their issues. I know she helped more than a few of them get things going better. When she came home from the grocery store, my male friends would rush to help her carry in the bags. They all wanted her to approve of them.
She's a great listener, but very good at keeping her opinions to herself. I often seek her advice or ear when I need to vent. My mother is my friend. I'm proud to say that. Not everyone can say the same. As often as I've been compared to her through the years, I've learned to accept it as high praise. I still look up to her even though I'm taller than her. The biggest wish I have in this world is to do as well with my own children. So far, so good...even if one is easier to love after 10 AM. haha
She taught us so much about family, loyalty, obligation, nurturing, the social graces, independence, organization, determination, humility & other essential life skills. She encourages me daily with this blog, with raising my own children, with the primary relationships in my life. I'm not selling my father short, but Father's Day is in June & Mother's Day is approaching. I said in a previous post that I owed my mother a fitting tribute. I hope I have delivered.
I love you!!
"All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." ~Abraham Lincoln
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