Baby, We're Cooking Now

My husband & I met in July & went on our first date in January of the following year. By April, he was set to move away to attend cooking school. He'd already taken classes here & there & found he enjoyed it. He often says he had to learn to cook. His survival depended on it. And he became very skilled.

At our first few dinners at his parents' house, I found a common theme. The food usually had one hot component, one warm & one cold...whether it was meant to be or not. His mother can't seem to time a meal to be ready all at the same time. I also noticed that unless the vegetable of the night was a salad, they were smothered in a cheese sauce. I once asked him what she had against butter & salt. (Apparently, she stopped using both with any noticeable flavor when his father was put on a restricted diet. I'm not sure how a Velveeta cheese sauce makes a healthier option, but that's where it started.)

Years ago, my mother in law asked me if I'd like her to bring over some chili they'd had the night before & I said sure. It took me almost an hour to season it properly & simmer the flavor into it. I asked my husband about it & he said that waving the salt & pepper over the pot constitutes seasoning & that anything else is just too spicy. I must have nearly killed her with my potato soup. I said it looked like tomato sauce with beef & beans. I had to add onion, garlic, chili powder, cumin, salt, cayenne. You know, the flavors that turn tomato soup into chili. I won't say everything she makes is bad. That wouldn't be true. I have many of her recipes that I do enjoy. But she made up a 'family favorites' recipe book for everyone one Christmas, & there was an entry there that made me shudder.

My husband spoke of it with disgust. I thought he was exaggerating, until I read what it was. This is worse than the liver I was forced to eat. It had to be worse than the sweet & sour pork I hated (really, I had something similar not so long ago & it isn't as bad as I remember, but I still hate peas.) It must somehow be a comfort food for my children's grandmother because it was attributed to her mother. Sorry, Selma, it will not be passed down in this family. My children have tried it (at her house) & complained the way my husband does about it. He says school paste is infinitely better. Creamed Tuna. To this day, he will not eat a tuna casserole & I make a good one. He won't eat warm tuna in any recipe. He loves tuna salad, but he has been ruined for it any other way. The extent of the recipe is milk, flour, tuna...served over white bread or toast. EEEW. Salt & pepper are listed as optional. People make jokes about creamed chipped beef, but I'm sure that is like the nectar of the gods in comparison. I'm sure that the fact that she uses skim milk & no cream whatsoever makes it even more distasteful.

His sister has had us over for dinner many times, & she, like my husband, is a great cook. I've never had a bad meal at her house. In fact, I have her recipe for turkey burgers & they are delicious. I've made them for company & been given raves. I don't take the credit though. I say where I learned to make them. 

I personally learned to cook the old-fashioned way....by hanging out in the kitchen, watching my mother, getting in her way, sneaking tastes, & asking if it was done yet. I discovered when I needed to cook my own meals that I knew how to make things for which I'd never read a recipe. I made my first stuffed chicken with mashed potatoes & gravy in college & it came out great. I may have called Mom a few times to ask what else or how long, but even now, if I call to ask how to make something, the answer is usually just "some of this & a little of that...Taste it." It took me years to remember how to boil an egg -I called her every time- but honestly, it only because I only did them once a year or so for egg salad. (My husband does the Easter eggs.) She makes a yummy noodle side dish that it took me years to figure out even though I knew what was in them...my downfall, too little salt. I knew she used garlic salt & I used garlic powder, but I had no idea how much salt was necessary to match her flavor. Egads. I don't make them very often. They're sinful!! Where my mother in law often lacks flavor, my mother takes up the slack. There's butter, maybe even bacon fat, & salt enough for everyone! Of course, my kids never come home complaining of a dinner they've eaten there.

Apparently, a lot of my friends' moms shooed them out of the kitchen when they were kids. I taught one of my friend's how to fry an egg. Seriously. She was basting it or something (I didn't really get the whole process of splashing the oil on top of it & using a lid...just gently turn it over. And please, for the love of God, cook it. Runny whites gross me out.) Many years later, I also taught her how to make spaghetti sauce. Not from scratch, I don't care to blanch & skin all those tomatoes, but they didn't have jars of sauce back then gasp! We had to season tomato sauce &/or paste ourselves.

At Disney World in the Nestle's Kitchen at Epcot

My kids are learning the way I learned. They hang out in the kitchen with my husband &/or me & watch, & we'll give them tasks to help, & eventually they can try it. We like cooking together. If our kitchen had the space, we'd all be in there together every night. As it is, my husband & I take turns, & the kids join us as they please.

My older child has made simple meals from start to finish all on her own. She scrambles eggs. She can make simple pasta dishes. She likes to make hor d'œuvres & dips. My younger child most enjoys baking. We make easy breads & muffins together. She likes to crack the eggs & do the measuring. They love helping their daddy make fresh pizza dough & then having make-your-own-pizza-night.

We read recipes together & try to find new things to make. They have their favorite chefs on Food Network. My older child thinks she does an impeccable Paula Deen. My younger one likes to watch Aarti Party. (We've never had Indian food, but I think she likes the cheerful set & Aarti's accent.) We keep trying to perfect the stirfry. It sounds so much simpler than it is. We experiment with different seasonings & spices. I think they have fairly adventurous palettes. I like that. I was such a finicky eater when I was a kid, but I'll give myself credit for one thing. I liked my vegetables far more than my kids do. I was picky about which ones were cooked in what manner (one of my sisters in law teased that she would cross-stitch my Vegetable Rules) but there are only a few I don't like. Sorry peas & okra, you have no place at my table.

One thing I know, it's that it's hard to tell the difference between my potato salad, pasta salad, macaroni salad, chicken noodle soup, vegetable beef soup, ham & bean soup & my mom's (hey, maybe that's why I love soup so much.)...which is pretty much just like Grandma's from what I remember. The potato salad for sure. And except for the vegetable soup, my kids are loving them too. They are summer & winter comfort foods. That's the way to pass it on.