Baby, I Live in the State of Denial

Denial. Is there an honest one among us who hasn't used this approach toward all kinds of unpleasant subjects?

birthdays are celebrated

I've been smacked in the face with a whole lotta reality lately, & let me tell you, it ain't fun. I am not enjoying it. This is probably why I need a diversion like changing my hair...so I can delay what I can no longer deny.

Let me set you up- I have great friends. I think they are the kind of people that would drop whatever they are doing & help you out of a bind. There are some I am closer to than others & that's natural, but I think even the ones I'm not as close with would help me out if I asked, within reason & even beyond reason....because they are good people. Some of them talk too loud, drink too much & smoke more than they should...but they all know how to laugh & they greet everyone with open arms.

The odd thing about this bunch, & I acknowledge that it is truly odd in this world today, is that most of us went to high school together. We weren't all in the same classes. We didn't even all hang out with each other then...but after reunions & classmates & facebook, we've found a core of us are still local & still enjoy each other's company, & in many cases, their spouse's company too. (Now get your mind out of the gutter! I mean we've made new friends in them!)

I had a friend say to me nearly 20 years ago, "We're the kind of friends that will always be close. Even if we go 20 years without talking or seeing each other, when we do, we'll pick right back up where we left off & it will be like no time has even passed." Time has passed & we have grown, & I do count him & his wife my friends.

any excuse to get together

But pick right up I did with another, she found me on classmates just before my reunion. Love ya, girlfriend!! We'd meet up once a month or so to have dinner & drinks, or scrapbook & it was like no time had passed at all. Between us, we connected with a huge segment of our high school gang. She was awesome about organizing gatherings. Someone dubbed them Focus Group. This is where I met another gal. We'd gone to high school together too, but didn't know each other. It's crazy how we just clicked. We felt like we'd known each other our whole lives!



So there's a bunch of us & they're really great people & we, as a collective whole, have been hit with some rough stuff lately... Some big, major, life-chaging, get-a-grip, challenges have been thrown this way.


There are a few cancers. There are a few divorces & separations, infidelity. There's been infertility & miscarriage. There is unemployment. There are job transfers & moves. There have been accidents. There has been unexplained illness, a real medical mystery. There is high blood pressure, heart disease & diabetes. There've been 2 who've had surgery for chronic back pain. There are ailing, aging parents & special needs children. I'm sure there are other conditions of which I know nothing.


That's when these friends pull together. We support each other. The occasional cattiness is put aside & there they are with a kind word, a smile or a hug just when it is needed most. The outpouring of love for our dear friend. who is much too young to be dealing with a heart condition, has been amazing! She got hit with the wake-up call, but we were all on the line.


There are more vows to quit smoking than I have ever heard...& I hope they follow through, not just in support, but for themselves. I know it's hard. I did it myself 6 years ago.

We crown princesses.

I don't think anyone's talking about giving up drinking...I mean, good God, that's drastic! Well, they talk about it every Saturday & Sunday morning, but I don't think anyone is really going to do it. I probably drink the least of any of them. I don't have any moral objections to it, I just simply don't because it messes with my blood sugar...& my train of thought, speech, large motor skills....

The heavier ones among us are going to have to get in shape or end up with the same problems. Ugh. That means me. We have pretty much the same body type. The horror of the sweat that is sure to come has me bargaining with my brain. Logic & fact are battling with rationalization & denial. It gives me a headache & a reason to postpone what I don't want to face. Delay & deny are BFFs.


The truth is, I eat well. A little too well apparently...wink, wink. No really. The food I eat is usually very healthy. It might be a little heavy on beef, but I swear it's the lower fat beef. It might be a little heavy on cheese, but I don't drink as much milk as I used to, so I still need my calcium. Right? Right. But what I mean is, I eat mt veggies. I love them. I eat whole grains, brown rice, & fruit. I eat protein & fiber & dairy. I use Splenda in my coffee & my steel cut oats.


My snacks are unpredictable. I don't always have snacks & sometimes I am fine. Sometimes my blood sugar drops & I am not so fine. Whether it be low blood sugar bitchies or the girly hormones, you don't want to mess with me when I need food. I could, figuratively speaking of course, cut your eyes out for looking at me wrong. I could cry & be unable to stop. I could develop a headache so severe, I can't breathe without causing myself excess pain. And even if you wanna kicky my butt, biology already did. So I guess I need to ask my doc about these things. I'm not really sure what to do with it. I do know I most definitely get cyclical cravings...salty, sweet, fatty, oooh, all 3 at once please. I might binge on 1 more of these items for 2 or 3 days once a month, but then I go back to being pretty good & choosing pretty wisely & exercising reasonable self-control . Gotta exercise something some time, right?


But I know, with support, I can start to make the changes. If we work together to heal one, we can work together to heal all. My friend is obviously in need of recovery time. She'll be quite restricted on diet & activity, so I'll get right on board with her, starting in about 5 weeks....

We all deserve to be princesses!

What?!

Denial... Don't call me. I'll call you. I've got your number.