Maybe I'm Amazed You're Still the One From this Moment on....

You know sometimes when you smell something & you instantly flash to a memory of something, like your grandma's perfume or cookies in the oven when you were a kid? Songs do that too- take me back to a time or place where it held significance.

Yesterday I heard a song playing, Still the One by Shania Twain. (I'm not her biggest fan as I generally try to steer clear of country music.) It flooded me with memories. I went right back in time, holding my husband's hand in my right & one of my little girl's in my left.

My sister in law sang From this Moment On during our wedding ceremony. She kept mixing up which one I wanted her to sing, confused by why I would want Still the One at a wedding. I didn't. We got it right eventually & she sang beautifully, even took all the country out of it for me.

"I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love...."

These words are why I chose this song. They're beautiful & simple & say it all. Yes, I'm a sap. I still love it.
Then there are the other songs... our first dance. He suggested Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney.

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
And hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you
Baby I'm a man maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby won't you help me understand, Oooohh
Baby I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby won't you help me understand, oohhh
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you
Oh,Oh,ohhh, yeah, oh,oh ohhh yeahh Oo-oo..."

We discussed this one in depth. I'd thought for a long time that I wanted a different song.
He'd told me repeatedly that he couldn't dance, & even the 'Shuffle & Sway' tactic I knew seemed a little tough to pull off here where the song picks up at the end.... What do you do there? I don’t delude myself into thinking I can dance.

So sure, the words to the song are kind of beautiful. That’s a given. Sir Paul can write a love song! I guess my hubby thought better of it too & we went with my selection.

But every time I hear the song -every single time in the past 12 years- I get sentimental. I think, really? Do I invoke that in him? Still? Because the genius of Paul McCartney isn’t always his lyrics…they say what they need to say but aren’t necessarily poetic. And I soooo don’t know anything about music…can’t read it, write it, play it or sing it. But what I know is what it makes me feel & I hear that cutie-patootie Paul singing his heart out for Linda & I feel (since my husband thought of that song for me) my husband singing it for me, though he never would. Ever. Not on a bet. Not for all the tea in China. Not for a million dollars. Ok, maybe a million would do it....And possibly the most amazing thing is that after so many ups & downs & downs & outs, & loving & liking & being angry with each other & coming back together, raising our children & playing with our dogs & moving & working & trying to pay the bills & living life….& I hear that song, or think about it like I just did, & I feel snug.

I feel warm & enveloped & safe. I see his beautiful blue eyes & his one-dimpled grin, the cleft in his chin & the sprinkle of freckles across his nose & I feel like I did some 12 years ago: young & hopeful & safe. I feel loved.

Maybe it was the simple honesty of that love that etched my heart & mind with his sweet, earnest face the day he suggested this song. Maybe I have a regret or 2 that we didn’t use it. Maybe I long for more of those feelings as we are so busy living our lives that we sometimes forget to be part of each other’s, so Sir Paul is there to remind me…

In the end, we chose Songbird, by Fleetwood Mac.

"For you, there'll be no more crying,
For you, the sun will be shining,
And I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it's right
To you, I'll give the world
to you, I'll never be cold
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it's right.
And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before.
And I wish you all the love in the world,
But most of all, I wish it from myself.
And the songbirds keep singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before, like never before....."
 
Sweet, simple, melodic....still love it. No regrets. It spoke to me then, & still says nothing more or less than what I wanted.

Then yesterday, walking through the park with my wonderful family, I heard the other Shania Twain song & I listened to the words...
"Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'...."

Maybe I’m amazed that with all that life throws at us, that we are still together, still holding hands & still helping each other find our way, wondering where all the time has gone.

He makes me laugh. He makes me crazy. He makes me angrier than anyone else on the planet ever has, but he loves me… me, with all my oddities, insecurities, rituals... demands even… just me. And maybe on those Saturday mornings that don’t happen so often anymore, when the children wake up together & come crawling into our bed to wake us & the dog hops up to get in on the cuddle action & we snuggle & partake in a tickle fiesta & I can’t tell whose elbow is in my ribs….maybe those are the days for which I am most grateful in this life. Maybe I’m amazed that the greatest blessings in life are mine, & he gave them to me, made them with me. And maybe with a little luck, the blessings will continue.
 
"With a little luck we can help it out
We can make this whole damn thing work out.
With a little love we can lay it down
Can't you feel the town exploding.
There is no end to what we can do together
There is no end.
The willow turns his back on inclement weather
And if he can do it we can do it
Just me and you...."

See, Sir Paul has a song for everything....thanks, Wings.
*I did a copy & paste on the song lyrics, so if they're inaccurate or there are problems with them, they aren't mine. ;-)