Maybe We're All Certifiable

You shouldn't read this one if tasteless jokes will offend you. Fair warning.

Yesterday my family was hanging out together watching television. That Lawry's marinade commercial came on that sings the jingle, "What's your flavor?"  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Twb33gGih4)

My husband was playing a game on his iPhone & I was playing a game on my iPod. Sporcle, & if you haven't, you should. It's a trivia game. Whatever question came up, I couldn't think of the answer, but I figured he'd know it, so I asked. He didn't look at me, he looked at the TV, where the Lawry's commercial happened to be playing.

In this commercial, an ethnic variety of women tell the viewer that certain flavors describe themselves, & an Asian woman happened to be onscreen when my husband looked up.

I said, "Hey, don't look at that Thai girl, I'm over here," absolutely jokingly. Plus, I don't even know if she is Thai....

He says, "But I can probably buy her for $3."

My 10 year old daughter pipes up, "Oh, Annie would like that!"

My younger daughter chimes in, "Yeah, 'cause that last one you bought me didn't have her code."

I start giggling. My husband looks baffled. "Just go with it. They don't get it."

"She might not even care about the dolls," Ally continues. "She just needs the codes to play with them on the computer."

I'm still chuckling at their beautiful innocence when my husband says, "Are they going to grow up, suddenly understand all this stuff, & realize how dirty I am?"

"No, they'll figure out how nasty you are long before they grow up," I tease.

"Did you hear about the guy in New York that tried to marinate his cat?" (http://www.mediaite.com/online/this-is-the-face-of-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-marinating-his-cat/ or http://www.mediaite.com/online/this-is-the-face-of-a-man-who-was-arrested-for-marinating-his-cat/) "He said it was, 'greedy & possessive. And that even though it was a neutered male, it got pregnant."

 "See? This is what I mean! That is disgusting & you're laughing about it," I said. He had already mentioned this story to me several times that day.

"But did you see the guy?"

"He tortured that poor cat!" I object to his taunts.

"The cat's fine. It can be funny since the cat's fine. Seriously, look at the guy." He pulls the story up on his phone. "Did you see his friend?"

My younger daughter interrupts, "So are you gonna buy me a new Ty girl?" No getting one by this girl. No sirree.