I'm a Firecracker, Baby

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” ~Kenneth A. Wells

People say you're not supposed to talk about politics, religion or finances with people. Yeah, that's easy. We all have pretty set views on that stuff & they are emotional. I don't really know how to completely avoid this stuff & still have meaningful conversations, but I understand from where the phrase comes.

But what about the other stuff? The stuff you never dreamed could be a touchy subject?

Some time ago, a friend of mine posted something on facebook about Willy Wonka. I commented that Willy Wonka gave me the creeps. He does. He's a creepy dude. I'm sticking to my guns there. I got all kinds of remarks back insinuating that I don't understand what he's about & have lost my childhood innocence & was superficial because I wasn't a fan of Willy Wonka. After a lively tit-for-tat, I was all like, whatevs... How long must one debate the merits of a fictional character? Why is it so offensive that I voiced an opinion different from one's own, especially when it has nothing to do with anything? I deleted all my comments & that was that. We never spoke of it.

I've also been engaged in a chocolate debate...as in the howcanyounotlikechocolateareyoueffingcrazy? sort. I do like chocolate. I swear. But I like good chocolate, not the nasty, waxy Easter basket & Halloween grab bag stuff. And I have to be in the mood...like seafood, it's not for all the time.

"Make sure you have a different opinion & people will talk about you." ~Arab Proverb

I'm so super-glad that I'm interesting enough to talk about. Here & there anyway.

I have been criticized because through much of the Christmas season, my status updates were lyrics from Christmas carols instead of personal commentary. I have been criticized because of the content of my personal commentary- either the posts are too long, too angry, too mundane, too upbeat, too generic, too political...just never quite right enough to satisfy my legions of facebook friends. I wish facebook called them contacts, because seriously, people 'friend' you just because they've heard your name. I've deleted many. In most cases, I mean no offense. But if we never exchange comments, what's the point?

I've also been deleted by a few. In more than 1 case, I felt like, what now? How have I offended thee? You know, as great a tool as facebook is, I've found it's a really useful tool in creating new ways to be rude. People will post things they'd never say to your face. Not me, I'll tell you straight up. They'll 'unfriend' you without an explanation. Know what I think? Whatevs....& good riddance. Gonna be like that, don't need you. When I reduced my friend list, I put a general statement out 1st that I was going to be doing it & why. I meant not to offend, but only to control who gets my feed.

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts." ~Daniel Patrick Moynihan

As a good friend said to me when I discussed some of this with her, "It's your wall. You can post whatever you want on your wall." That's right. I get to control it. So when I comment on yours, & you don't like it, you get to control that too. Tell me, whatevs...I can take it. I know I've pushed a few buttons out there, more than a few in the last 2 days. Let me say this: I didn't set out to argue, wasn't trying to tick anyone off. It just seemed to me that opinions were being broadcast disguised as facts (& I actually support your right to do that on your wall) that included what I thought were emotional triggers & irrelevant information & a lack of certain facts. The message was skewed. I'll say it right now- I didn't like it.

“We must always think about things, & we must think about things as they are, not as they are said to be.” ~George Bernard Shaw

It's your right to feel that way & to broadcast it. And if you don't want my opinion, you get to choose whether to engage me or ignore, leave my comment there or delete it. That's the way it goes. I'm a big girl & I can take it. I don't dish it so much for fun as a way to gage how committed you are & to learn how committed I am myself to certain beliefs. And how smartly they can be backed up by facts. Honestly, I didn't find a lot of fact in the presidential negativity following the killing of Osama bin Laden. There were a few biased & unrelated facts tossed in just to stir up a bad vibe, in my opinion. As I stated ad nauseum in the past few days, whether you agree with his politics, like him or respect him, is irrelevant to the situation. He is the Commander in Chief, an American citizen, & by God, he is entitled to share in this victory. Whoever the seated president might be would get the same. And yay, this bumped his approval rating by 11 points! Had this mission failed, he'd get all the blame. No one is going to rip on the Navy SEALS for crying out loud. That's the truth.

"There is a world of difference between truth & facts. Facts can obscure the truth." ~Maya Angelou

I don't know which is creepier...

By the way, there is no fact as to whether Willy Wonka is creepy or not. That's all opinion. And many people, even when they like Willy, agree with me that he's creepy. Both portrayals of the character give me the willies.... 

So whatevs...

That's right, I admit it. I get a little heated up from time to time...& I don't mean from hot flashes. I've got opinions on lots of stuff & I don't mind sharing them. I don't even mind arguing them, most of the time, because a smart quid-pro-quo can strengthen my belief or enlighten me to new perspectives...even if I do give you my eventual brush-off, yeah, whatevs...
 

“I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.” ~Edward Gibbon

Baby, I Love Your Smile



It's clear what braces will do for her.
1st day of Kindergarten

 I was well-advised about a year ago that when I got ready to search for an orthodontist for my children, schedule a few consultation appointments. Wow! I am ever so happy I listened to that advice.


I made the phone calls about 2 months ago, & the 1st appointment I was able to obtain was at the closest orthodontist to our house. We went into the office & were inpressed at the bright, cheerful space. Big windows with sunlight streaming in, technology apparent everywhere, a super friendly staff, & a mini-bar full of freebies. I'll call him Dr. X.

The next office was a contrast but came with a personal recommendation from one whose opinion I respect. The office was nice, but it is nestled in some trees. It was calm & quiet. We were greeted by a professional staff & went through just about the same tour. No mini-bar here. However, they did have an incentive plan that getting good check-ups from the dentist won the child rewards at the orthodontist. I'll refer to this one as Dr. Y.

The last appointment was actually the 1st one I made, it just took the longest to get in to see him. I looked at this positively: He's so popular he's busy. He's good & in demand. I also saw the negative side: He could be hard to schedule any appointments with, & what happens when there's an emergency fix? His office is right downtown, has no view, but it was very modern & eco-friendly using sun-tubes for natural light, recycled (plastic privacy panels) & renewable resources (bamboo flooring). They also make their implements on site. He had a video game station for the kids while waiting & coffee for the parent, but not a mini-bar. I'll call him Dr. Z.

Dr. X took X-rays, photos & measurements. He made his treatment reccomendations for both my girls, gave explanations for them, sounded confident in his ability to perfect their bites & their smiles. He thought it best that we start an aggressive plan (the model looked like a Terminator-type of contraption involving a palate expander) immediately for my older daughter for 2 years & phase 1 of a 2-step plan for my younger daughter so that her mouth doesn't develop like my older child's already had. Then we were given price quotes & payment options.

Dr. Y also took X-rays, photos & measurements & outlined his proposed treatment plan. He was very matter-of-fact in his explanations & even said that my younger daughter could & should put off treatment for 18-36 months until she'd lost all of her baby teeth. For my older daughter, he proposed a plan thatwould be about 20-22 months & only a short time in the palate expander, which might only be used as a stabilizing device when moving the teeth... he explained the difference in the type of braces he uses & how it is gentler & more effective, although less conventional. Then we were given price quotes & payment options.

Dr. Z took an MRI, photos, & did all the measurements based on the MRI. He said they both had a palate within the acceptable normal range- no expander. He showed us -& this was cool- how perfect our older daughters face is- his words. He showed us by measurements the dimmensions & how symetrically she lines up with her temples, eyes, & nose width being in perfect 5ths across her face & her forehead, nose & chin dividing into perfect 3rds the length of her face. This was cool. He showed us on the MRI exact measurements of her mouth, teeth, palate, her airway, jaws, sinuses, everything that can be affected by moving the teeth. He took time & explained thouroughly. He did the same with our younger daughter, whom he said should wait 2 years or more to start...& he proposed a treatment plan that involved no palate expander & only 18-20 months of braces for our firstborn, & that he may use more than one set, more than one kind of brace brackets on her. Then we got price quotes & payment options & were told to take our time & consider all options & let them know...



1st day of Kindergarten
Look, Mom, no teeth!

 Even lay people like us can see that our girls have overbites, that they have gaps & some crooked teeth. The whole palate expanding issue is less clear for us. So glad to have various opinions on that. I prefer less interference when possible. We learned from both Dr.s Y & Z that our daughters were advanced in their tooth & bone development. I knew that. They got their 1st baby teeth around 3 1/2 & 4 months old, & they popped up all at once. That's how they lost them too! My 1st started Kindergarten missing her 2 front teeth.

Dr. Z asked us where else we'd 'shopped' & when I told him, he kind of made a face at Dr. X's name, though he recovered quickly. He said he has respect for Dr. Y's work. But Dr. Z was the one with dozens of degrees & awards on his walls. He had the latest technology. He also had the biggest discount for paying up fron in full, although Dr. Y seemed to have a little more flexibility in playing with the numbers. Dr.s X & Z are in our dental network, so we would receive full benefits there, & Dr. Y was not so benefits were cut in 1/2. So what does all of this mean? Here's the bottom line-

Dr. X quoted us $6,360 for our 1st child alone, though he did offer a sibling discount, it did not make up the difference once we added her quote onto it too even with it's discount. Our younger daughter's treatment for phase 1 only was quoted at $1,915 with no estimate for Phase 2. Our insurance benefits & the sibling discount still puts us at an out-of-pocket expense of $4,586 with an unknown Phase 2 amount still to come. We suffered severe sticker shock! It was seriously weighing heavily on us both. Dr. Y proposed $5660 less insurance benefits for an out-of-pocket expenditure of $4,760 for each (because he said our 2nd daughter would eventually require pretty much the same treatment plan.) If he was within our insurance network, that would drop by $1,100 each. Dr. Z quoted $5,222 for our older child. With full insurance benefit, that's $3,222 & to pay in full up front reduces by 7% it comes to $2,996.46. Dr. Y only offered a 3% discount for upfront payment & Dr. X didn't offer any. I do know that orthodontic procedures can vary & give the same approximate results. I truly did not expect such discrepancy between the price points. It's unbvelievable! And in this economy, kind of insane.

Blah, blah, blah!! Boring, right?! I hate numbers. I hate crunching numbers. I'm so glad it's done. My husband & I both walked away from the 3rd appointment thinking, '3rd time's the charm.' He was the least invasive, the least dramatic, the most technologically advanced. He was calm, kind, reassuring & had experience in dentistry as well as orthodontics, & other credentials that impressed us as much as his demeanor & staff did. He said, 'no big hurry' so we can wait for the bonus check & then pay upfront so there are no lingering stresses of upcoming payments...No worries of grinding their teeth to nubs, no TMJ, no apnea, no surgery (1-2 procedures were discusses about my younger daughter's attached muscle & boney gap) no wondering how to cover it & feeling like terrible parents because we didn't take them in sooner even though more than 1 dentist said to wait until they were 11 or 12.....so, no rush. I feel relief.

I'm so glad we did shop around. We got a great vibe with a reasonable price. I find comfort in this, as opposed to the uneasiness I felt at the 1st office. Had we just gone with the 1st guy whose office was closest to our house & was within our dental network, we might have ended up fine, but with more time, discomfort & expense. Why put your kids through more than is necessary?

Soon, my baby with the perfect face will also have perfect teeth....& then my other perfect baby can start hers afterward without drowning us with debt. Hey girls, we no longer have to choose between your teeth & heat this winter! Woo-hoo. That's what I call a WIN!