WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012
Maybe I Like to Break the Rules (Even When They're My Own)
Remember back when I started writing this, I said I didn't want to use it for political commentary? Well, I have to put that thought aside for awhile. The political climate is so charged right now, that really, it just about consumes me.
Values that are core to what America is all about are being challenged. Values that I was taught & in which I believe, that are supposed to be protected by the Constitution are being challenged every day, & from what I can tell, nobody is noticing.
We are the United States of America! We are the model for freedom, the leaders for democracy, the nation that promises life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness...Truth, justice, the American way...& right now, we have a movement here that wants to dismantle all of the spirited, patriotic, noble & idealistic qualities we've claimed as our birthright.
It's right there in our Constitution that we have a government of the people, by the people & for the people. It's only natural to believe that it means 'all the people.' Last time I checked, I was a people. I also rediscovered that I am of the female variety, with a very strong feminist streak. Ok, I did not rediscover this...I reawakened this. Being all consumed with momminess the past decade-plus, & loving a good 75% of it (ha!) I didn't always pay close attention to all the issues. I relied a great deal on the snippets of TV news I could catch & word of mouth...Bad mommy.
As my children aged, I was able to pay more attention to the world outside our little abode. And I found out that, much as I like men (& I do, really, really like men) there's a lot of them that really just tick me off. I get all green...No, Mr. Freud, it isn't penis envy. I am not green with envy. I'm green like the Hulk! In the words of David Banner, "I'm getting angry. You wouldn't like me very much when I'm angry."
Maybe it is because my children are also female. Maybe it's that Mama Bear coming out in me. Maybe it's the whole idea that since the beginning of time, that things were supposed to be better for our children than they were for us. But I know I didn't like being told I couldn't do something because I was a girl, as if it disqualified me from a full life. I definitely have a strong sense of fair play, & to be told 'no' solely on the basis of my gender, well, let me tell you, that just isn't gonna fly. I mean, it's not like I wanted to play football. I hate football! (I do think, however, that if a girl wants to play, she ought to be able to play. Same as any boy.)
So as I rebelled against my Catholic upbringing, which quite honestly, a good part was due to the intrinsic sexism I could spot even as a child, I discovered that challenging the norms was not only amusing, it was necessary. But as I don't actually enjoy being in-trouble, I was cautious. I asked the priest in our parish & at least one of the nuns in school, "Why do men get to be deacons, priests, bishops, archbishops & cardinals, maybe pope, but women? Women are just nuns. Why aren't they permitted to climb the hierarchic ladder? Aren't they just as capable of teaching about God & Jesus as men?"
Of course they tried to phrase their answers nicely, make them seemingly palatable to an impressionable 12 year old girl, but the answer was always the same. No.
No? Women aren't as capable as men to teach? Why then, in this particular Catholic school that I attended & by which every one of them was employed, were there 16 classrooms & only 1 male teacher? The principal was a nun & every member of the office staff was female. The gym teacher was female. The school nurse was a woman too....but women aren't as capable as men to teach. Why? Because Jesus was a man. Adam was created first & Jesus was a man & the disciples were men & so it is men forever because it always was.
Now I don't know if this is the answer they meant to give me. I don't know if they thought they had to 'dumb-down' to a 12 year old girl. I don't know if they didn't know the answer or if they were not the type to ever question this themselves. I don't know if they'd do the same today, if asked again. What I know is, that getting that answer repeatedly was not good enough for me. Not as a 12 year old girl & not now. And in 30 years, the answer hasn't changed. It can be phrased & rephrased but the answer is always, in its core, because that is the way they want it. They being the men in charge who want to stay in charge.
Which is just super-well-stated in this quote by the president Jimmy Carter.
Now I don't care if you like him or not. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat or anything else. I don't care if you believe in God or don't. I'm just sayin', the man makes the point & makes the point well. The point that turned me away from the Catholic church as a young girl & has prevented me from taking my own girls to church.
Because I'm not going to do that to them. I'm not going to tell them they can't do something just because they're girls. I'm not going to let them grow up angry at being considered 'less than' because they are girls. Because I'll tell you what, my gender has no bearing on my intellectual abilities, nor on my heart's capacity for love & compassion, & it sure hasn't been a hindrance in any area of my interest...nor will I passively stand by & let it become that for my children.
So despite our epic-ly scaled vision of self-importance as Americans, we are in crisis. There are men (& somehow, baffling as it is to me, some women) in power in our government that would take us back at least 40 years...even some would go further, 50, 60 years backward & eliminate progress for equality in America by limiting a woman's reproductive freedom. I'm not talking about who pays for what. That is irrelevant in the point that nobody can pay for what is outlawed. These are mostly state bills, & not federal, but it's a growing, frightening movement. Abortion is only the starting point. Read up on Personhood bills. These can effectively ban all hormonal birth control. Despite statistics showing that 99% of sexually active women use some type of birth control at some point... benefiting men, women & children by allowing families to plan when they choose to have children, or additional children, or any children at all. Because it's true that not all people wish to be parents, but most people (I'm guessing here) want to have sex. At some point. It's a normal, healthy thing, good for you even...not to mention, fun. And we don't have all the live-long day to debate, but there are other reasons women take The Pill besides contraception. There are. You don't have to take my word for it. Look it up if you can't think of any.
But hold up!! That's not all. That's not the only issue on the agenda that is seriously pushing me to get more involved, making me unable to keep my mouth shut, driving me to seek companions in my quest for equality...oh no. There is also the question of whether The Violence Against Women Act will be renewed, as well as the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. These ARE federal issues. Many states have already done their damage though. Wisconsin repealed a fair pay act & Kansas decriminalized domestic violence. That's right. And meanwhile, the FBI expanded the legal definition of rape just prior to the Idaho state senator Winder said, & yes, I am quoting, "I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that the physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that's part of the counseling that goes on." Appalling. Absolutely appalling. I don't care whether you support abortion rights or don't, to imply that a woman doesn't understand if she has been raped or not, that it's ok if it was her husband, that she'd lie about it just to avoid a state-mandated vaginal ultrasound probe before obtaining what is a legal procedure...Damned if I know what's most disgusting to me. It's all offensive & misogynistic.And it doesn't stop there- oh no. There's also the talk show host that said, about the Virginia law mandating a vaginal ultrasound probe before obtaining a legal abortion, & yes, again I quote, " 'Oh what about the Virginia rape? The rapes that, the forced rapes of women who are pregnant?' What!? 'Wait a minute, they had no problem having similar to a trans-vaginal procedure when they engaged in the act that resulted in their pregnancy.' " Yes, that was in response to people saying that being forced to have a vaginal probe unnecessarily forced upon one equaled state-mandated rape, & this idiot says that it's ok, because there was already something once in her vagina that caused the pregnancy.
In February, there was a congressional hearing about insurance coverage of birth control & the panel was made up of men & the testimonies were by men & a woman who was prepared to testify, you've all heard of Sandra Fluke (if not, look her up) was not permitted because she was considered to be 'unqualified.' The 5 witnesses on the panel were all male religious leaders or professors, including a Catholic bishop. Not very varied & not a uterus among them.
Oh, & hey, what about that separation of church & state? The wall Thomas Jefferson talked about? Remember him? The guy who wrote the Declaration of Independence who said we were all equal?
Thank goodness the Blunt Ammendment was defeated, the one that was proposed to allow employers to block a wide variety of healthcare services on the grounds of a vague heading of "religious beliefs & moral convictions" that could be extended to deny a wide range of services.
Arizona has its own version...The Arizona state legislature passed a bill April 12th that not only would allow an employer (currently limited to "organizations that have a religious mission in their articles of incorporation" [which is an amendment to the original bill] & that operate according to their religious principles) to deny certain coverage if the employer has any religious or moral objection to them. It is so broad that it infringes upon privacy & removes a provision against discrimination thus allowing for the firing of an employee who chooses to make a decision, even paying out of pocket, that is contradictory to what the employer's beliefs are.
How does it matter what the employers religious or moral beliefs are when concerning one's own, the employee's, health care decisions?
How about we learn to trust women? Is that revolutionary or what? How about we decide to let them run their own lives & their own bodies & we just mind our own business?
Hulk not happy. Neither is Mama Bear.
Now, I don't want to discuss all the factors. I don't care what your personal beliefs are as far as the creation of life or faith or abortion policies. I'm not debating beliefs. I'm not debating anything. I'm not pushing a political, personal or religious agenda. You are free to believe what you want.
Just like I am. I'm stating my sincere, human feelings of outrage at the attempted opression of women in our supposedly free & equal society. We are supposed to be allowed in this country to believe (or not) & worship (or not) as we choose. Less than 100 years after earning our right to vote & less than 40 years after earning the right to control our own bodies, we are still fighting for equality...fights that should be settled by now in a civilized society that wants to be a role model for the rest of the world.
These are not women's issues. They are societal issues. It's not ok. It's not a legacy I want to leave to my daughters.
They have value beyond their ability to produce offspring. They are not breeding stock. (Oh, how did I leave out the guy in Georgia that compared women to livestock? The one who thought they should carry dead fetuses until natural labor because that's what they do with pigs & cows...Pigs & cows! Seriously. I'm not making this up. Look it up.)
My children are smart & funny & talented & beautiful & athletic & they can do whatever they want to do...except perhaps control their own bodies &/or become pope.
Why do women still have to work harder & fight harder for life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness...truth, justice, & the American way...?
**Here is a link to the a relatively new group that needs support- http://unitewomen.org/unite/
& their facebook page for Unite Women- https://www.facebook.com/UniteWomen
I went to the rally at my state capital on 4.28.12 & I hope to attend more. I hope more people will join the action & rally for equal rights for all.
Values that are core to what America is all about are being challenged. Values that I was taught & in which I believe, that are supposed to be protected by the Constitution are being challenged every day, & from what I can tell, nobody is noticing.
We are the United States of America! We are the model for freedom, the leaders for democracy, the nation that promises life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness...Truth, justice, the American way...& right now, we have a movement here that wants to dismantle all of the spirited, patriotic, noble & idealistic qualities we've claimed as our birthright.
It's right there in our Constitution that we have a government of the people, by the people & for the people. It's only natural to believe that it means 'all the people.' Last time I checked, I was a people. I also rediscovered that I am of the female variety, with a very strong feminist streak. Ok, I did not rediscover this...I reawakened this. Being all consumed with momminess the past decade-plus, & loving a good 75% of it (ha!) I didn't always pay close attention to all the issues. I relied a great deal on the snippets of TV news I could catch & word of mouth...Bad mommy.
As my children aged, I was able to pay more attention to the world outside our little abode. And I found out that, much as I like men (& I do, really, really like men) there's a lot of them that really just tick me off. I get all green...No, Mr. Freud, it isn't penis envy. I am not green with envy. I'm green like the Hulk! In the words of David Banner, "I'm getting angry. You wouldn't like me very much when I'm angry."Maybe it is because my children are also female. Maybe it's that Mama Bear coming out in me. Maybe it's the whole idea that since the beginning of time, that things were supposed to be better for our children than they were for us. But I know I didn't like being told I couldn't do something because I was a girl, as if it disqualified me from a full life. I definitely have a strong sense of fair play, & to be told 'no' solely on the basis of my gender, well, let me tell you, that just isn't gonna fly. I mean, it's not like I wanted to play football. I hate football! (I do think, however, that if a girl wants to play, she ought to be able to play. Same as any boy.)
So as I rebelled against my Catholic upbringing, which quite honestly, a good part was due to the intrinsic sexism I could spot even as a child, I discovered that challenging the norms was not only amusing, it was necessary. But as I don't actually enjoy being in-trouble, I was cautious. I asked the priest in our parish & at least one of the nuns in school, "Why do men get to be deacons, priests, bishops, archbishops & cardinals, maybe pope, but women? Women are just nuns. Why aren't they permitted to climb the hierarchic ladder? Aren't they just as capable of teaching about God & Jesus as men?"
Of course they tried to phrase their answers nicely, make them seemingly palatable to an impressionable 12 year old girl, but the answer was always the same. No.
No? Women aren't as capable as men to teach? Why then, in this particular Catholic school that I attended & by which every one of them was employed, were there 16 classrooms & only 1 male teacher? The principal was a nun & every member of the office staff was female. The gym teacher was female. The school nurse was a woman too....but women aren't as capable as men to teach. Why? Because Jesus was a man. Adam was created first & Jesus was a man & the disciples were men & so it is men forever because it always was.
Now I don't know if this is the answer they meant to give me. I don't know if they thought they had to 'dumb-down' to a 12 year old girl. I don't know if they didn't know the answer or if they were not the type to ever question this themselves. I don't know if they'd do the same today, if asked again. What I know is, that getting that answer repeatedly was not good enough for me. Not as a 12 year old girl & not now. And in 30 years, the answer hasn't changed. It can be phrased & rephrased but the answer is always, in its core, because that is the way they want it. They being the men in charge who want to stay in charge.
Now I don't care if you like him or not. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat or anything else. I don't care if you believe in God or don't. I'm just sayin', the man makes the point & makes the point well. The point that turned me away from the Catholic church as a young girl & has prevented me from taking my own girls to church.
Because I'm not going to do that to them. I'm not going to tell them they can't do something just because they're girls. I'm not going to let them grow up angry at being considered 'less than' because they are girls. Because I'll tell you what, my gender has no bearing on my intellectual abilities, nor on my heart's capacity for love & compassion, & it sure hasn't been a hindrance in any area of my interest...nor will I passively stand by & let it become that for my children.
So despite our epic-ly scaled vision of self-importance as Americans, we are in crisis. There are men (& somehow, baffling as it is to me, some women) in power in our government that would take us back at least 40 years...even some would go further, 50, 60 years backward & eliminate progress for equality in America by limiting a woman's reproductive freedom. I'm not talking about who pays for what. That is irrelevant in the point that nobody can pay for what is outlawed. These are mostly state bills, & not federal, but it's a growing, frightening movement. Abortion is only the starting point. Read up on Personhood bills. These can effectively ban all hormonal birth control. Despite statistics showing that 99% of sexually active women use some type of birth control at some point... benefiting men, women & children by allowing families to plan when they choose to have children, or additional children, or any children at all. Because it's true that not all people wish to be parents, but most people (I'm guessing here) want to have sex. At some point. It's a normal, healthy thing, good for you even...not to mention, fun. And we don't have all the live-long day to debate, but there are other reasons women take The Pill besides contraception. There are. You don't have to take my word for it. Look it up if you can't think of any.
But hold up!! That's not all. That's not the only issue on the agenda that is seriously pushing me to get more involved, making me unable to keep my mouth shut, driving me to seek companions in my quest for equality...oh no. There is also the question of whether The Violence Against Women Act will be renewed, as well as the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. These ARE federal issues. Many states have already done their damage though. Wisconsin repealed a fair pay act & Kansas decriminalized domestic violence. That's right. And meanwhile, the FBI expanded the legal definition of rape just prior to the Idaho state senator Winder said, & yes, I am quoting, "I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that the physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that's part of the counseling that goes on." Appalling. Absolutely appalling. I don't care whether you support abortion rights or don't, to imply that a woman doesn't understand if she has been raped or not, that it's ok if it was her husband, that she'd lie about it just to avoid a state-mandated vaginal ultrasound probe before obtaining what is a legal procedure...Damned if I know what's most disgusting to me. It's all offensive & misogynistic.And it doesn't stop there- oh no. There's also the talk show host that said, about the Virginia law mandating a vaginal ultrasound probe before obtaining a legal abortion, & yes, again I quote, " 'Oh what about the Virginia rape? The rapes that, the forced rapes of women who are pregnant?' What!? 'Wait a minute, they had no problem having similar to a trans-vaginal procedure when they engaged in the act that resulted in their pregnancy.' " Yes, that was in response to people saying that being forced to have a vaginal probe unnecessarily forced upon one equaled state-mandated rape, & this idiot says that it's ok, because there was already something once in her vagina that caused the pregnancy.
Oh, & hey, what about that separation of church & state? The wall Thomas Jefferson talked about? Remember him? The guy who wrote the Declaration of Independence who said we were all equal?
Thank goodness the Blunt Ammendment was defeated, the one that was proposed to allow employers to block a wide variety of healthcare services on the grounds of a vague heading of "religious beliefs & moral convictions" that could be extended to deny a wide range of services.
Arizona has its own version...The Arizona state legislature passed a bill April 12th that not only would allow an employer (currently limited to "organizations that have a religious mission in their articles of incorporation" [which is an amendment to the original bill] & that operate according to their religious principles) to deny certain coverage if the employer has any religious or moral objection to them. It is so broad that it infringes upon privacy & removes a provision against discrimination thus allowing for the firing of an employee who chooses to make a decision, even paying out of pocket, that is contradictory to what the employer's beliefs are.
How does it matter what the employers religious or moral beliefs are when concerning one's own, the employee's, health care decisions?
How about we learn to trust women? Is that revolutionary or what? How about we decide to let them run their own lives & their own bodies & we just mind our own business?
Now, I don't want to discuss all the factors. I don't care what your personal beliefs are as far as the creation of life or faith or abortion policies. I'm not debating beliefs. I'm not debating anything. I'm not pushing a political, personal or religious agenda. You are free to believe what you want.
Just like I am. I'm stating my sincere, human feelings of outrage at the attempted opression of women in our supposedly free & equal society. We are supposed to be allowed in this country to believe (or not) & worship (or not) as we choose. Less than 100 years after earning our right to vote & less than 40 years after earning the right to control our own bodies, we are still fighting for equality...fights that should be settled by now in a civilized society that wants to be a role model for the rest of the world.
These are not women's issues. They are societal issues. It's not ok. It's not a legacy I want to leave to my daughters.
They have value beyond their ability to produce offspring. They are not breeding stock. (Oh, how did I leave out the guy in Georgia that compared women to livestock? The one who thought they should carry dead fetuses until natural labor because that's what they do with pigs & cows...Pigs & cows! Seriously. I'm not making this up. Look it up.)
My children are smart & funny & talented & beautiful & athletic & they can do whatever they want to do...except perhaps control their own bodies &/or become pope.
Why do women still have to work harder & fight harder for life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness...truth, justice, & the American way...?
**Here is a link to the a relatively new group that needs support- http://unitewomen.org/unite/
& their facebook page for Unite Women- https://www.facebook.com/UniteWomen
I went to the rally at my state capital on 4.28.12 & I hope to attend more. I hope more people will join the action & rally for equal rights for all.
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