Maybe We Just Keep Trying

TUESDAY, AUGUST 16, 2011

Maybe We Just Keep Trying

We've all had those emails with the bad family pictures, right? The Olan Mills famous fake park with the wagon wheel or the haystacks on astroturf? Really funny stuff & I'd bet most are from the 70s, that decade of fashion-forward pattern... Here's an example of what I mean: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Well, since I began getting those, I have noticed that, while my family photos aren't as awkward (we aren't creepy. We're quite normal, I swear) they are almost as horrible. Really, is it so hard to look in the right place, smile, & pretend to love the people against whom you are smooshed?

I know that some people are naturally more photogenic than others. I have a friend who never takes a bad picture, bitch that she is, whereas I occasionally have 3 chins. But a smile, we all know how to smile, right, boys & girls?

Wrong.

Why do so many men refuse to smile for a camera?

I recently shared a bazillion snaps of my yougest daughter with all her crazy faces. Remember I told you to stay tuned for the face that pisses me off? Really, he's just so cute but he does do his best to make that hard to see.

These are from the series where I cropped out Anne's faces, but it wasn't just Anne... Now onto Attempts at a Family Photo...



Even the dog is less than cooperative...

We went outside to play in the snow. After we gave up trying to get a nice picture, the unthinkable happens.

This one made it into the Christmas cards :)

Here we are at The Happiest Place on Earth. Seriously, they call themselves that. Does my husband look happy? And what's the face the little one is making? I'm glad she was potty-trained or I could have been in trouble....

Our then 6-year-old took this picture.

Here we are again. Got someone to take one of all of us... really, what is going on here? Is it so hard to be still & look in the right place for 12 seconds? Apparently so...

Maybe she has to go potty?

Take 2 did not make it into the Christmas cards either.  

Now what is he looking at?

This one was so-so but my honey still doesn't seem exactly happy. I can say he was. We had a great time.

Again, we were having loads of fun. Various days at Cedar Point, The Fun & Only... Why no one seems inclined to capture it is beyond me. I just don't get it.

I look like I have buck teeth. I don't.

Hard to get 4 people by oneself...the arm just isn't long enough.

The poor lady who took the picture. He looks almost ready to cry.

Family vacations are meant for commemorating fun family times, right? That's part of the point as far as I'm concerned. Niagara Falls, people.

The very nice German lady was patient enough to try again... but I was overly enthused. I think that's a 'real' smile. EEEK! And after looking at his blank face, I didn't even notice that you can't see the 4 million cubic feet of water falling off the cliffside....that plume of water vapor in the air behind us is a small indication.

I ended up using my seriously awesome photo skills to combine the 2 photos. (Wish I still had that program! It was great.)

Maybe by now, I should have given up this hope of a nice family photo, but no, not me. I grew up with them. Every few years we went to the ol' Olan Mills studios. I read somewhere that family pictures actually help families bond. Stop laughing. I am not making this crap up.

Here, Disney again. In the back of a limo. How can that not be fun? He claims the flash makes him make these faces. (Yeah, whatevs.) It doesn't explain the lack of smile....

 Silly, quirky, crazy & annoying. Why are photos so painful?

Christmas again. No card from this fun evening...

He looks kinda like Jack Nicholson in The Shining

Now my sweetie has complained that I am treating him like a toddler by 'picking out his clothes for him.' But really, it's not that. I let him dress himself on a daily basis. Even when I hate what he's wearing. But for the family picture -that I wish was suitable for framing- I try to get our clothes to coordinate because

A.) It's a better photo if it's subjects are cohesive in appearance.

B.) It's busy & cluttered & distracting from the faces if everyone wears different colors or prints.

C.) I am The Mom.

And so here we are again trying hard, really hard, too hard in what he calls our 'Johnny Cash Christmas' to get a picture that works....

 So we gave up trying to include the dogs in the family photo....

I begged of him to just pretend he likes me
& stand a wee bit closer.

Next thing you know, I have this brilliant idea to go outside. It worked once before. It was a sunny day, even warm for December....

I don't even know what happened here.



This was the winning pic.

Upon reviewing these photos in the tiny screen of my camera, I tell my friend who took them, "His face is pissing me off." I don't care how bright the sun is, Wussy-Man. (No, I didn't say that.) Keep your damn eyes open for 10 seconds straight & we can be done with it.

Maybe just the girls...they're so cute, they are all anyone really wants a photo of anyway.

Or maybe not.

So filled with Christmas cheer,
"Ornery Annie" knocks her sis in the gut.

That was almost a year ago. Hard to believe that much time has passed already & we're already approaching (next week, yikes!) another school year. I don't know why they fight it.  I'm just going to make them go through this all again until I get a decent picture.

But I'll have my revenge for these are the photos that will haunt them. Oh yes, I will get the last laugh.....